How to dress for a visit to San Miguel
By Teresa Lemon Shepro, Jan 12, 2007

The winter tourist season is upon us, and we all need help with our out-of-town guests. Many of Atención’s readers already know how I feel about houseguests in general and may be surprised that I ever have any. But, as with death and taxes, no one is immune. 

My friends and family often ask me what to pack for San Miguel. I have my own ideas on style and appearance, but no one takes my advice anyway, so I think it’s best to report on how people normally dress here in town and what to expect. 

Infants/toddlers

Locals: Babies abound but are rarely visible except in May, when the temperature reaches 95 degrees or above. When you spot a woman with a large bundle of blankets in her arms, she is not leaving a linen store sale, she is carrying her baby. Please do not ask to “peek” because a cold front may be moving in.

Visitors:Not enough sightings to reach a definitive conclusion.

Children

Locals: Parents adore their children and dress them like cherished dolls, with neatly combed and pomaded hair. Think 1950s Sunday school or grade school concert attire. At temperatures below 80 degrees, children wear snowsuits. 

Visitors: Usually casually attired in Gap/Hanna Andersson wear with moppish hairdos and giant sneakers.

Adolescents

Local girls: School uniform with knee socks. Pleated, plaid skirts may be hiked up on walk home, and bubble gum may be chewed. 

Local boys: School uniform, dress pants and sweaters with white shirts neatly tucked in on the way to school, untucked on the way home from school. No gum.

Informal attire: ironed jeans

Visitors (including Distrito Federal but excluding Mormons or Mennonites)

Girls: Three possible options: trashy, trashier and obscene.

All-season teen slut, junior whorewear, with one pair of threadbare jeans and flip-flops. Eveningwear: Target gaucho pants that sit below the navel. Tops—your guess is as good as mine—underwear? I have traveled with my nieces before and know that they pack one small bag with the above-mentioned items and some microscopic lingerie. This takes up about a third of the suitcase, leaving the rest of the space for hair-care products and communication gadgets. 

Boys: Low-slung, gravity-defying pants.

Adults

Locals: Men and women wear wool gabardine or poly-wool blend pants or skirt and wool sweater. Anyone working indoors will, in addition, wear a parka 365 days a year. 

Expats: Men and women wear hybrid, unisex garb. No socks until temperature falls below 30 degrees, K2 base camp-approved fleece anorak instead of the local parka, rolled up yoga mat and battery-dead watch in the accessories department.

Dormant radicals, aging SDS members or radical wannabees wear native huipiles, Chico’s peasant skirts, white manta pants and shirts and Huichol jewelry. 

San Miguel is very accepting, and there is a lot of “cross-dressing” in the broadest sense.

Visitors Women: Khaki twill pants, crisply ironed white shirt, lightweight, cable-knit cardigan sweater and a foldable beige hat. The other day, I thought I would kill myself if I saw another woman dressed like that. I rounded a corner and, wouldn’t you know, I saw one in the window of Pegaso—it turned out to be my own reflection!

Evening: Little black dress and anorak borrowed from hostess.

Men: Two styles: cargo pants with Travel Smith multi-pocketed vest or slacks and polo shirt. I would suggest making a trip to Atotonilco to purchase a crown of thorns and mini-flagellation whip to complete the martyr look. Men are the unacknowledged beleaguered of San Miguel de Allende because they must follow their wives from one artesanía shop to the next and only sometimes get to play golf.

Undergarments are your own affair. Those of us who wear “mommy” underpants (100% cotton, 6 to a pack from Hanes outlet store) can expect to receive each pair carefully starched and ironed after the laundering process.