Supporting a courageous spirit
By Mary Quagliata

Most of us protect ourselves with all our inner strengths and outer resources. We believe that we must, that our work is to provide for ourselves, our personal body and mind. And why not? I am my own best friend.

I MUST maintain myself because, well, I am urged to by the forces of life that flow through me.

Gloria Espino doesn’t think so. She lives each day to the fullest, giving her warm and open heart to all comers, never concerned with self aggrandizement. Although recently diagnosed with leukemia and in need of a bone marrow transplant, she continues to relish each exquisite moment as if it were the most important one in her life. A friend has dubbed her “a warrior of light,” but that isn’t an accurate nickname for her, because she does not fight, does not resist what comes to her. Rather, she feels “I am floating on a calm sea, being gently carried and lifted by the swells, drifting, relaxing in the water’s embrace, like a sea creature.”

Gloria has not arrived at such serenity by leading an easy, carefree life. She has experienced the sadness of broken relationships and of misplaced dreams, but early on she discovered within herself an enormous strength. She began to understand that it was she, Gloria, who determined the quality and beauty of her existence. “I grew and my consciousness expanded with each adversity. I knew, at a very early age, that I must open my heart and love myself, and everything and everyone around me. I saw that when this heart-door is opened, one learns complete freedom; freedom to act and respond with compassion, and freedom from the usual fears that grind people down.”

“God is inside of you,” she says, “and to have faith in that is a creative act. But to understand such feelings, one has got to rid oneself of hatred and rancor so that one begins to see the unity of all things. I have learned never to respond to anyone with aggression or hostility.”

Gloria practices this philosophy, but it has come to her naturally, neither through reading nor study. She is simply a real woman who has experienced the “lightness of being.” And while she is, strictly speaking, quite ill, you are not aware of this when you are with her. She will touch you. You will feel at peace being with her. You will feel loved. She says, “I believe that the love of others cures me.” Thus, it is reciprocal.

Gloria will have bone marrow transplant surgery soon, within a month. One of her sisters will be the donor. Gloria isn’t fearful and believes everything will go as it will, however that should happen. She says, “The surgery is a door. I don’t know to where.”

Gloria and her husband, Jose Luis Arias, would love to meet you and invite you to visit them at their art gallery at Correo 73. Please come to enjoy their paintings and their friendship.

The cost of the surgery, US$20,000, is a great deal of money for one or two people to come up with, but when divided into small parts, that amount becomes affordable. All donations are appreciated.

September: Month of Independence 

The Municipal Library at Pepe Llanos 14 has events scheduled each weekday through September. All San Miguel visitors, locals and residents are invited to attend these free activities, as a sampling of the services offered by the library. Talks are in Spanish, and movies are in Spanish with English subtitles.

Monday 4pm: Homework support for elementary school. 

Tuesday 4pm: Movies on “The greatest museums of Mexico.”

4pm: Children’s story-telling.

Wednesday 4pm: Homework support for elementary school. 

6pm: Talking on biographies with children, “The heroes of independence.”

Thursday 4pm: Children’s story-telling.

6pm: Discussing history, art and philosophy.

Friday 4pm: Homework support for elementary school. 

6:30pm: Children’s cine club, the newest and most popular movies for children (affordable for everyone). 

Friends and family remember Kendal Butler 

Kendal Dodge Reynoso Butler, perhaps best known in San Miguel as an actress (Wit, The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds, Proof, Copenhagen), died at the home of her daughter Kendal Lukrich in Park City, Utah on August 17. 

Kendal succumbed to year-long struggle with progressive illness, but not before demanding and realizing a last minute medical evacuation to Utah to see her grandchildren—(M)including a four-month-old granddaughter whose birth she missed. She left Mexico accompanied by her daughter and stepson Lewis. The next afternoon she was at her daughter’s home, and she died hours later, surrounded by all members of her family.

When Kendal retired to San Miguel in 1998 from the San Francisco Bay Area, following the death of her second husband, Frank Butler, she was no stranger to Mexico or this city. Already fluent in Spanish from extended childhood travels in South America with her parents, she came to Mexico in 1965 to visit her mother and father, the celebrated travel and mystery writer David Dodge, who had retired in San Miguel. She came via Guadalajara, where she met and fell in love with photographer Joaquin Reynoso. She abandoned her job with CBS in New York to marry him and remain in Mexico; in 1967 daughter Kendalita was born. The family lived for four years in Guadalajara, where Kendal worked in the photo studio and taught part-time at a private school. She and Kendalita traveled often to San Miguel to see her parents. When the marriage dissolved, Kendal returned to the States to raise her daughter, pursue work in communications and occasionally perform in local theater. She also joined AA, beginning what was to be a successful collaboration of nearly 40 years.

Returning to San Miguel, Kendal quickly established herself as a presence. She tried out for plays and got leads. She attended and spoke at AA meetings in English and in Spanish. She joined Jovenes Adelante and befriended students in the Mujeres en Cambio scholarship program; became a board member of the Chamber Music Society; was active with the Center for Global Justice and other progressive political organizations; and read copy for Atención on Tuesday evenings. She spoke frequently at the Unitarian services on Sunday mornings, where she developed a close friendship with Farley and Virginia Wheelwright, and taught a Spanish class at the Biblioteca Pública. A fiercely competitive natural athlete, Kendal played tennis with a ladies group at the Walter Weber courts three times a week, and was delighted when there was a shortage in the men’s group and she was invited to fill in. 

People who did not yet know the name Kendal Butler were introduced to it with the contentious Biblioteca election of 2002, when she and a group of “radicals” formed a slate of candidates and challenged the existing long-standing board, demanding more transparency and accountability in its operations and finances. Following heated debates and dramatic turns of events, the challengers won a very close election, and Kendal found herself President of the Biblioteca. However, the triumph was for her short-lived. The stress and exhaustion of an intense election, and grief over the loss of her fiancé Bud Quinlist, who had died unexpectedly shortly before, proved too much for her. After a short time in office, she stepped down. She addressed herself to business—(M)the administration and disbursement of funds left to her by Bud, and in his name made a substantial grant to Jovenes Adelante.

For the last four years, prior to the onset of illness last summer, Kendal remained active in her favorite activities, cutting back only to work on her autobiography. She had enjoyed—(M)or perhaps survived—(M)a remarkable life, as rich, difficult, complex and challenging as that of any of the characters she’d played onstage. At the San Miguel Authors’ Sala, Kendal read some sections of this work-in-progress, which were very much about her deep Mexican connection. A number of chapters have been completed; it is to be hoped that they might be published. 

Services were held for Kendal on Monday, Aug. 27, at the local cemetery, Farley Wheelwright presiding. Her ashes were buried next to the graves of her beloved Bud and her parents and this writer’s aunt and uncle, Elva and David Dodge.

Keith Wall

“When I was the Bavarian Cultural Attaché…”

San Miguel has lost one of its most precious treasures—(M)Kendal Butler, witty, wise and sharp as a tack. She was president in absentia of the Biblioteca when I applied, unsuccessfully, for the position of Atención editor, and her response to my sample article was right on the money (I think it ended with the words, “…she also has a bad case of the cutes.”) Nevertheless, when I was eventually given the job (it was, typical of the times, a coup going in and another going out) Kendal was kind, gracious and enormously helpful. By that time she was no longer Prez, and all the happier for it. 

She volunteered to come in on press night to proofread and of course, not only caught all the bits the rest of us had missed, but because she was so knowledgeable of all things Mexican, was especially good at licking the lead stories into shape. She spoke fluent Spanish, had writing in her genes thanks to her father, and was a very accomplished writer herself. You can find her work on the web, including excellent film reviews and a lovely article about San Miguel.

Kendal was so well traveled and widely experienced that if anyone asked a question the reply invariably began, “Well, when I was…” This became a bit of a running joke on press night, as we tried to think up more and more outlandish ways of finishing that sentence. And if we were stumped it was always a case of “Wait till Kendal gets here and ask her.” Naturally there were many more strings to her bow, and being Atención’s queen of proofing was just something she fitted in around her other activities, but despite a very busy schedule she never let us down. 

Her death is sad news indeed, she was no age at all, and she’ll be sorely missed. I can’t think of a better epitaph than this: Kendal Butler was the real deal.

Trisha Vargas

I knew Kendal Dodge Butler since I moved to San Miguel 11 years ago. Our paths crossed many times. She was a member of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship and once gave a riveting talk on Mexican slang. She also showed Destinos, a popular Mexican television drama that she used to help teach Mexican culture and Spanish. At the end of each session she discussed the main points with the audience and elaborated on how Spanish is used in San Miguel.

She spent many hours editing the last two editions of Our Caring Community, Your Resources in San Miguel. The third edition is at the printer and I am sad that she has not been able to review it. When I too worked at Atención we would take time out to discuss the various situations in SMA. 

Kendal and I exchanged mystery stories for many years. Her father, David Dodge, was the author of the popular To Catch a Thief, as well as a number of other mystery books. I later learned more of her chaotic pre-San Miguel life at a meeting of the Authors’ Sala.

I will miss her. She cannot be replaced in San Miguel.

Marge Zap

I remember when we used to play tennis...you taught me "matala,” which means "kill her” in Spanish (at the net). Rest in peace my friend....

Rita Bennington

I used to play tennis with you...You were a great player, I will miss you.

Liana Negrete


A Testimonial to the late Kendal Dodge Butler

Most of us remember Kendal Dodge Butler as an actress, an avid reader, a writer, a tennis player and a friend. But let us not forget: Kendal was a strong advocate for change. Kendal believed passionately in democracy and used her oratorical and writing talents to work for transparency and fairness in and out of government. She gave her time and energy and, sometimes, sacrificed her own health to participate in causes she felt were just. 

Will long-term residents ever forget her leadership in the Biblioteca Pública election of 2001-02? No matter which side you supported in the library controversy, one had to respect the way Kendal articulated the real issues in that most memorable campaign. The final words of her poignant “El Syndicato speech” will always stay with me and so many others who were there that day:

“What has struck me listening to your thoughtful questions, and the equally thoughtful answers coming from both sides, is your passionate concern for our Biblioteca. I am reminded of the famous words of Daniel Webster when he pled the case for his alma mater, Dartmouth, before the US Supreme Court. Webster said: ‘It is, sir, a small college, and yet there are those who love it.’

“In the overall scheme of things, the Biblioteca Publica may be just a small public library in a little town in Mexico—(M)and yet there are those of us who love it. All of you, and all of us up here, are clearly motivated by that love.”

David Bossman


Un chocolate para mi amiga Kendal

Kendal para mí era una señora con un alma llena de pasión, ternura y buen humor encerrada en un cuerpo gruñón, arrugado y quemado por el sol. Para mí era una señora gringa con alma mexicana que entendía y amaba a México y el idioma como pocos mexicanos, una señora quien yo estimaba muchísimo y que tenía el tino de corregir los más pequeños y escondidos detalles de mis notas en español, siempre al cuarto para las ocho, cuando yo ya estaba cansada y sin ganas de corregir nada en un horripilante y cruel martes de cierre de edición del periodíco Atención. 

Ella me enseñó el arte de colocar las palabras en el lugar correcto, en el momento correcto; buscando siempre el tino y la coherencia, el ritmo y la magia que se hacen al crear una palabra. 

La última vez que hablé con ella fue hace dos meses. Mi papá necesitaba con urgencia una traducción muy específica y técnica de una encuesta que la General Motors le estaba aplicando a su compañía. Inmediatamente pensé en Kendal pues ella me había contado alguna vez que trabajó para una constructora similar a la que tiene mi papá. Kendal me contestó su celular y me dijo que no podía trabajar en mi traducción, que no aguantaba el dolor en su espalda, que estaba muy mal y que su salud se había visto comprometida por esa dolencia. Le agradecí y me despedí de ella, le dije que se cuidara, y pensé en lo bueno que sería ir a visitarla junto con la editora, Suzanne, y llevarle una caja de chocolates porque le gustaban mucho, pero por una u otra razón lo olvidé y ahora me arrepiento de no haberle llevado sus chocolates a mi amiga y mentora.

De hecho, en este mismo momento, pienso en si los sis de este texto van con acento o sin acento, si puse las comas donde deberían ir, si las comillas van dentro o fuera del punto final (lo cual nunca entendí aunque ella se cansó de explicarmelo) o si sobre todo es junto o separado porque—en tono francamente molesto pero maternal—mira Tania debes poner más atención, no es la primera vez que te lo digo, sobretodo junto quiere decir capa o abrigo y sobre todo separado quiere decir principalmente, así que anda corrígelo.

Y ahora, ¿quién me va a corregir? ¿Quién va a traducir mis textos al inglés y que el significado sea exactamente el mismo? Me hubiera gustado mucho contarte todo esto y darte un último abrazo, pero como ya no te tengo en frente para agradecerte y decirte lo importante que eras y eres para mi, se lo digo a Kendalita y a tus nietos, a tus tías en México, Puebla o Morelia, no recuerdo, a todos tus muertitos y a toda esa gente que no tengo el gusto de conocer en persona pero sí en la esencia de las letras y palabras con las que a veces me contabas tus historias. Gracias Kendal y un chocolate para ti. 

Tania Noriz

Kendal was a mentor extraordinaire. The vast scope of her professional and personal experiences made her Atención’s master proofreader; the brilliant final authority providing factual and language details—(M)in both English and Spanish—(M)all at the last minute. She was consulted by reporters and editors alike.

“I’m pathological about proofreading,” was how Kendal described her formidable command of language. So finally after many months of collaboration Kendal gave me a beautiful hardcover copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, the irreverent and definitive tome on punctuation and the English language. This book on the “zero tolerance approach to punctuation” gave me further insight into Kendal and a new appreciation of proofreaders, that special group of people blessed and cursed with the mania of precise language

Possessing an acerbic wit, Kendal enlivened those weary Tuesday evenings with her sharp humor and entertaining anecdotes of her well-lived life. From those recollections and her love of language came her regular column “Adventures in Language.” I have reprinted two of these columns on pages 76 and 78.

Suzanne Ludekens

Kendal could be living proof of there being only six degrees of separation between us all. We met first in San Miguel because she was the revered AA sponsor of a young woman I knew to be in deep trouble. Over a dinner we discovered that we had already crossed tracks in Paris in our college years abroad, and then again in New York where we both worked for CBS. The company had just completed its Saarinen-designed office tower, Black Rock, an ultimate statement of corporate good taste by CBS’s éminence grise, Frank Stanton. Familiar with his employees’ wide-ranging 1960s tastes, he preferred that no one desecrate the hallowed walls with home-grown art. (Andy Rooney promptly wrote a protesting memo on toilet paper.) Kendal thus found herself distributing the wealth of the CBS art collection throughout the building, wryly deciding, in her own way, what kind of message to send…she could be very wry.

We will long miss Kendal for her generosity, intelligence and talent, and, just as much, her dry and wonderful take on the world.

Irina Posner

Legalities and Realities of Living … and Dying in San Miguel
By Linda Sorin

Lecture: Hospice San Miguel Living and dying in San Miguel Weds, Sept 5, 5pm Teatro Santa Ana Biblioteca Pública Insurgentes 25

Living in San Miguel as an expatriate has endless benefits as we all know. However, when faced with some of life’s challenges such as a serious illness, an accident or death, expatriates have unique considerations. Recently I heard of an 80-year-old man who lived happily in San Miguel…until one day he just dropped dead on the street. What a way to go. A death that many would wish for, except for his heirs. Unfortunately, they were “there” and he was here and since he hadn’t made any of the necessary arrangements for disposition of his remains or his assets, his family not was only faced with grief at their loss but a morass of legal troubles. 

You probably have heard similar stories about friends or acquaintances who either suddenly became ill and could no longer care for themselves, or perhaps even communicate their wishes, or others who faced terminal illnesses for which they were unprepared financially or emotionally. One’s infirmity need not be serious to cause undue hardship. If one suddenly becomes ill and can’t get out of the house, can someone enter your house, care for your pets, have access to your cash to purchase medications or medical care?

Hospice San Miguel, as part of its community education series, is presenting a program on September 5 that will provide information to help you prepare for situations like the above. The information will not only help deal with our realities here in San Miguel, but also can be helpful in dealing with issues related to friends and family back home. 

Hospice San Miguel board members Joanie Barcal, Ana Lilia Buendia and Dr. Roberto Maxwell will make presentations, as will Ed Clancy, US consular agent and Charles Miller, computer expert and Atención columnist.

Joanie Barcal is one of the three founders of Hospice San Miguel. She initiated the idea in response to the need she recognized during the illness and subsequent death of her partner Richard Dulpuis. Joanie has master’s degrees in both social psychology and in management and administration. She has lived in San Miguel for 18 years. She will be talking generally about hospice care and how Hospice San Miguel plans to be a model bicultural hospice serving all the residents of San Miguel, regardless of their ability to pay.

Ana Lilia Buendia is a bilingual Mexican attorney in private practice specializing in immigration issues, wills and representation. She will be speaking about an issue that is always hotly debated in expat circles, but about which no one ever seems sure of the facts—(M)Wills (Mexican and American). She’ll also be speaking about living wills (also known as health care directives) and power of attorney. In addition, Ana Lilia will speak to the issues of suicide and cremation from a Mexican perspective, as well as registration as a foreigner. 

Ana Lilia is originally from Mexico City and has lived in San Miguel for 20 years. She studied at the National University of Mexico and has a degree in international relations and a master’s degree in Mexico-United States relationship.

Hospice San Miguel medical director Dr. Roberto Maxwell will talk about the importance of establishing a relationship with a physician before being faced with a serious illness. Patients need to partner with their health care providers to obtain the best possible health outcomes. A healthy dialogue and an open sharing of information can assist patients in receiving the best possible care. What information should you bring with you to your doctor’s visit, what questions should you ask, what do you want from your doctor? Dr. Maxwell will share information about these topics as well as other practicalities of living and dying in San Miguel as an expatriate. Some topics that will be covered include: death certificates, how to donate your organs, how to get your blood type, what are the options for burial and cremation, what is the 24 Hour Association and how can one join? 

Dr. Maxwell was born and raised in Mexico. His undergraduate degree was earned at the National University of Mexico. His internship and residency in critical care were at ABC Hospital in Mexico City. He studied cardiopulmonary medicine at National Heart Institute Ignacio Chavez and was a cardiology research fellow at the University of California at San Diego. He has been in private practice in San Miguel since 1987 and has been involved with the Red Cross here for 20 years. 

US consular agent Ed Clancy is an outstanding resource for US citizens living in San Miguel. Ed has been instrumental in assisting US citizens and their families back in the States when a San Miguel resident has faced a serious illness, accident or death. There are things that we all can do to make it easier for Ed to assist us and our families in these instances. Ed will speak about what US citizens should do so that he can contact family and/or friends in an emergency, what financial arrangements can be put in place to cover an emergency, the importance of having an executor and informing the consular office of how to contact that person, and issues related to burial (whether local or in the US).

Ed was born in Mexico and raised in the United States. He moved back to Mexico six years ago and has been the US consular agent in San Miguel for one year. He also has served as president of the Chamber Music Festival for the last two years. Ed received his law degree from Stanford University, has practiced financial law, and had been a chief financial officer and investment banker before settling into his current role.

Charles Miller is a freelance computer consultant who has worked in the information technology industry for more than 20 years. He has been a frequent visitor to San Miguel for almost 30 years and now writes a weekly “Computer Corner” column for Atención. After the death of a good friend, Charles wrote a column on the subject of what everyone should know about email and electronic records when a loved one passes. He has been invited to participate in this program in order to increase awareness of this new and increasingly important part of organizing one’s personal affairs.

The presentations will be followed by a question and answer period and notetaking is encouraged.

The mission of Hospice San Miguel is to enhance the quality of life of individuals with life-limiting illness and support their families through the management of physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs. Hospice San Miguel helps patients to remain comfortable, alert and able to participate in life as fully as possible until death occurs naturally and peacefully. Hospice San Miguel affirms life and regards dying as a normal process and neither hastens nor postpones death.

The Hospice San Miguel office is located in Colonia Lejona at Manuel Rocha 35. For more information call 154-4287 or visit www.hospicesma.org. 

A little more about Hospice San Miguel

Hospice San Miguel offers their services regardless of the patient’s ability to pay. A non-profit, non-governmental organization, they receive no government funding. This means both that they are free to tailor the program specifically to the needs of our own bicultural community, and that they will rely entirely on fundraising, contributions, and volunteers. 

Want to help? Donations to Hospice San Miguel are tax-deductible. In addition to financial support, the center needs donations of medical equipment—(M)beds, wheelchairs, walkers, bedside commodes, and anything else that will assist in comforting those moving on from this life in San Miguel.

For information, to donate or to volunteer, please call 154-4287, email info@hospicesma.org or stop by. Hospice SMA is located on Manuel Rocha 35 in Colonia La Lejona and welcomes visitors Monday through Friday, between 10am and 1pm. Also, visit the website at www.hospicesma.org.  All inquiries are confidential.