So, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?
By Teresa Kaltenbacher, May 25, 2007



Workshop

“Roadmap to Meaningful Midlife: Create Your Vision and Action Plan!”

Fri, June 15, 4–7pm
Sat & Sun, June 16 & 17, 2–5pm
LifePath Center
Recreo 80
US$150 or peso equivalent
154-8465


I don’t know about you, but I’m still working on that question after giving up a lucrative career in the States. Our magical town is famous for its uncanny ability to welcome and accept people from all walks of life, especially those in the process of rediscovering themselves. And to be sure, San Miguel has an interesting, eclectic variety—from adventurers, real estate moguls, stockbrokers, artists, writers and philosophers to political activists, professional volunteers and self-proclaimed renaissance men and women. But there are those of us (and you know who you are) who have left behind successful (and maybe not so fulfilling) careers in “El Norte” and are wondering what the heck we want to do with the rest of our lives. We may be skilled at whatever job we left behind, but we are in need of some professional guidance and mentoring to discover what our true passions are and how to transition and productively channel them into our lives. What gives us satisfaction and happiness? Can we make money from our n
ewfound interest? Do we need or even want to make money from this new venture? And let’s face the cold, hard facts—not everybody can paint, no matter how hard they try! It can be very frustrating to be surrounded by creative and talented people when you are trying to find your own individual niche.

Don’t despair! Help is on the way in the form of Mary Radu, a certified professional coactive coach and founder of Pathmaker Coaching. Radu is a pioneer in the emerging field of Midlife Transition and Life Planning. Hailing from Northern California, she brings a wealth of business and coaching experience to the table, helping to guide and focus her clients through the highly individual process of self-introspection, exploration of choices, conscious decision-making, and finally, commitment to charting that new life purpose.

A good personal coach like Radu can be your strategy partner. She can ask the questions only you can answer to help you extricate yourself from the daily “rut” you may think you’re in, ultimately steering you towards a more meaningful purpose. And remember that you are not alone! Many successful entrepreneurs and famous names like Tiger Woods, Bill Gates, and yes, even Oprah, have used the expertise of personal coaches and mentors to help them achieve greatness in their lives.

I had the serendipitous pleasure of meeting Radu while she was in town studying Spanish. We spent some time together and she gave me that little push and new perspective I needed to start navigating my own new path in life. I’m eagerly looking forward to working with Radu in the near future; my only regret is that I didn’t meet her five years ago when I moved here.

Mary Radu’s workshop, “Roadmap to Meaningful Midlife: Create Your Vision and Action Plan!” is from June 15–17. Workshop size is limited, so reserve your space early by calling 154-8465 or email info@lifepathretreats.com. Individuals and couples are welcome. The deadline for registration is June 8. The course consists of a pre-workshop assignment, three in-class sessions and creative, exploratory homework between the sessions. Participants will acquire practical, life planning tools and information that they can take with them on their personal journies towards a more fulfilling future.

For those who are unable to work with Mary in person, she offers a CD set also entitled Roadmap to Meaningful Midlife: Create Your Vision and Action Plan! (audio CD, MP3 and digital workbook). This set covers the material presented in the workshop and can be purchased on her website: www.pathmakercoaching.com. 

Mark your calendars, roll up your sleeves and prepare to channel your energy into an interactive, inspirational weekend of meaningful introspection, exploration and new possibilities!

“We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential."

Ellen Goodman (Pulitzer-prize winning columnist, The Boston Globe)

The undisciplined mind 
By Norman Araiza M.A., May 25, 2007


It’ widely accepted that we think in our native tongue and our thoughts are in the form of words. Those words affect our feelings. And those feelings affect our behavior. Our behavior affects those around us, which affects our relationships. Because our thoughts are in words they are, in fact, able to be manipulated and with training can be controlled. But for many of us the mind is undisciplined; at times out of control, limiting our ability to stay focused. It may tell us things we don’t want to hear; think things we don’t want to think. An undisciplined mind might allow for greater creativity, but this freedom can leave it vulnerable to negativity, excessive outside influences and even less desirable emotional states.

Of course, we can’t label some minds disciplined and others not. It is a matter of degrees.. A disciplined mind sets goals, can reach them and can delay gratification.

Researchers refer to “attentional stability” as the ability to stay focused. We know that undisciplined minds are more easily distracted by movement and bright objects, making them more susceptible to commercialism. The undisciplined mind is not only troubled with a fleeting attention span, it is also influenced by negative programming which occurs unconsciously. The thought can be so powerful that we may react to it as though it is factual, never recognizing it is simply a thought, a fantasy that may have nothing to do with reality.

A former client was troubled with fits of jealousy about her husband which stemmed from her life long insecurity and poor self esteem He tried to reassure her, explaining in detail his whereabouts but in due course his patience faltered and they sought my services prior to seeing a divorce attorney. She knew her husband loved her and was a good man. She just could not control her thoughts. My treatment included creating a base line of unwanted thoughts and having her keep track of them. After a couple of sessions I asked her to increase the number of negative fantasies she was having. She resisted initially saying this made her very uncomfortable, but she complied.. I helped her recognize that her thoughts had nothing to do with the reality of her husband’s behavior. By increasing the fantasies she was able to take control of her mind and confront them as nonsense when they occurred spontaneously.

In the early days of psychoanalysis, Jungian and other “depth psychologies” attempted to uncover deep-seated conflicts and neurosis in an effort to change behavior. These dated methods took years, were very expensive and were relatively ineffective. Modern psychotherapists like Aaron T. Beck and other cognitive therapists, suggest that our emotions and behavior are caused by our internal dialogue, which can be controlled. Developing the presence of mind to be aware of when we are out of the present moment is central to having a disciplined mind. Generally those troubled with worry, fear or sadness have allowed themselves to slip into negative thoughts about the future or past.. Having the ability to choose when you will permit yourself to digress into another mental dimension prevents contamination with current issues at hand. 

Early in my career I noticed that clients grieving from the death of a loved one, were often unable to function effectively because of the memories and thoughts that flooded their minds.. I explained their thoughts were part of the grieving process but they needed to schedule uninterrupted grieving time that was more convenient for them. By negotiating with their mind for grieving time they were able to control their thoughts while assisting in their own healing process..

Disciplining our minds is like exercising a muscle. The more we work at it the stronger it becomes. Some of us operate on auto pilot, going about our business and never thinking about what we are doing to ourselves or our effect on others. If we conjure up unhealthy thoughts we may react, almost automatically, by feeling anxiety, fear, loneliness or depression.. It’s truly all about consciousness; being aware of what our minds are thinking. If we do not like the way we feel, we need to identify the thought that triggered the feeling and change it. In theory it’s just that simple. In reality it takes commitment and practice; but the payoff can be profound in terms of the quality of our lives. Remember, having the information is only part of the solution. Incorporating it into our lives sometimes requires assistance, accountability and guidance.

Norman Araiza M.A. (Psychology) is an American-trained psychotherapist enjoying a limited practice in SMA. He can be reached at 152-5454 email: 2gatos10@cybermatsa.com.mx.  Comments are welcomed.