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Soul Connection


By Marcia Wolff

What is precious inside us does not care to be known by the mind in ways that diminish its presence.

David Whyte


What is precious inside us? That part of us often referred to as the soul, essence, or our true nature. That part of us gets buried beneath our conditioning and the louder voice of the inner judge. It’s no wonder that this part of us wants to hide; it does not want engagement with an ongoing inner critique.

If a parent, teacher, or religious authority attacks a child for being who and how he or she is, the child has no way to defend himself. He’s been abandoned by those who are to provide safety. She can’t easily fight back at two, five, or ten. He can’t yet stand up for himself. They can’t pack and leave a home that might be toxic or painful. Instead, the wounded child constructs beliefs that he is wrong, bad, or flawed in order to have seeming control. At least he can try to find a way to fix his wrongness in hopes of getting love and acceptance. Unfortunately, this is how the false personality develops. And it’s how it developed in the child’s parent, with no model of how to manage emotions.

So what is precious must hide, and the stand-in, a false personality, takes center stage. Over time, anxiety and depression set in. The developing adult then masks these symptoms with various addictions, excessive busyness, relying on externals to rescue him from self-destructive behaviors. At some point, the developing adult hits a wall but can’t understand what has happened. Many layers form to protect the initial wounds. This is the human condition unless conscious adults raise us. This is rare.

That we must acknowledge our wounds and the behaviors that follow is first necessary for healing and transformation. We may have to stop our addictions and reliance on external rescues before any change takes place. We, instead, need to connect and bond with that precious child within and take responsibility for our addictions that cause a deeper disconnect from our truer selves. We listen within to the needs of the inner child, then act to meet those needs. If we are at a loss for what action to take, we ask for guidance from an internal source, be it an image of spirit or our higher wisdom. The answers will come; they will be kind, loving, and wise.

Undoing the layers formed to cover our wounds is a worthy endeavor. As developing, loving adults, it is empowering to turn inward and gradually build a stronger character, healing up the hole in the heart and bonding with what is precious within us.

Marcia Wolff, M.A. earned a master’s degree in counseling psychology and was licensed in Santa Fe, NM. Contact her at


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